Before their first experiences inside a human body, souls did'nt know anything. Like the energy of life they were in need of a brain. In fact they are the energy of life and what the energy of life could'nt know, souls could'nt know. That made their first encounter on earth a brutal one. Not knowing yourself. Not knowing life. Not knowing the feeling of threat inside you, knowing the world around you. Being completely oblivious and whitnessing the thundering weather conditions and life at its most brutal.

Fighting animals. Animals intimidating you. Feeling that you're doing the same. Fear was inevitable. It did'nt stop, because nobody had a clue what was happening or why. Not to mention that nobody had an answer to all of this. Mind you humans were not to blame. Humans are animals. Low intelligence in every sence. Primitive and uncivilized. Souls posses intellect. Souls can think. But left without answers that might have made a difference, lost in an evil world. Thus our suffering began.    

Humans live in a hierarchy. There's one leader per herd of people. Usually a male, because there are two important rules that maintains order. One: old over young. Two: male over female. The first rule governs most. If a female is the oldest of the herd it's her right to lead. Males are constantly battling, competing, because one unwritten rule overcomes the other two. The rules that lets no room for questions about wich male is most intimidating, impressive, who has that certain charisma. He is the leader, even if he's not the oldest. Females can do that to, in principle, but it takes a differend approach for a female to be intimidating, or even impressive. It really takes a certain quality. 

Being competative as a male, getting higher up the Alpha ladder, is mostly intimidation. Being tough, not showing weaknesses, not letting show that you're afraid. Not only are males impressing one another, males also impress females. And that's were females can show who is the Alpha girl. That's the first one to step up to a male of her choice (mostly a male high up the Alpha ladder to impress the other girls) she turnes around, bends over and shows her backside. Af is to say: i wanna mate with you. 

Having that in mind, life back then, had its battles. Wildlife at its purest. Kill or to be killed. If you got hurt or sick, the herd would leave, because you're no longer capable to fulfill your part in the herd. You're no good. You're sacked. You have to survive on your own. Totally not how a soul wants to live. In no way what a soul wants. But all souls got along with it. They did'nt know. They did'nt have alternatives. They did'nt know there was an alternative. If only they did know,... But life is what it is. Now and in the past. And in the future?  

Every soul feels: i exist. It's a notion that is apparant, but somehow separate from what would set us apart. It holds no definition that makes me differ from you. To understand it we first need to know what that feeling is. When souls were created it went from liquid to gas, to air. As a liquid each soul in the making had no feelings. As gas every soul suddenly had a feeling. The feeling that an undefined something was threatning our being. It's always there and seemingly not revealing its true nature. The nature is that none of us wants to go back to liquid, to become numb again. Even if it feels threatning. Each soul, you and i, feel alive, because we feel a threat. By the time a soul entered a human body, threat seemed to be looking right at us, in the form of a brutal world. Man finghting beast. Man battling each other. For a piece of meat. For the right to mate with a female. 

Each soul got so confused in the feeling of being threatened, the feeling of once own, and the treatning world around us, that all of us lost connection with that feeling. The feeling inside of us was given a face, a realism, that did'nt need further questioning. It had never been more clear to us. What remained was the feeling and the fear that was the result of it. Our feeling had an answer, but it lingered on, never left us, because it was'nt the correct answer. Thus we stayed separate from ourselfs and our feelings. 

To stand tall in a brutal world, in separation from ourselfs, we started to invent a self. Creating character properties and features to stand out in the crowd. We see ourselfs as caring, social, sportive and creative. Not interely wrong, but even so beside of what we really are. We've given ourselfs identities such as a medium, king or queen, or a guru. Girls and women like to think that they're a princess, a queen or a Godess. In the course of hundreds of years the need to imagine our self had gone ways. How we struggle to get grip on our own gender identity and our seksual preverences. But what is most striking is that souls struggle so severely with they're own feeling of being threatened and the anxiety that comes along with it, that some even want to transform, even though transforming back to become liquid is the root cause of our anxiety in the first place. Think of souls who use tattoos and piercings extensively, changing they're looks. Think of drag queens. Think of goth. Souls are struggling. But each soul also posses the means to make an end to our personal suffering.     

Each soul struggles in many ways. Some of us are pleasers. Doing everything we can to make someone else happy. Because if he is happy, you are happy. At the same time, someone who is striving to be rich and or to be in power, is struggling.  Becoming rich and to stay rich is hard work. Trading, negotiating, taking losses every now and then, buying and selling. One who wants to be in power can only stay up there if he or she has a way with words, if he or she can convince that he or she is the man or woman to vote for. But what it really takes is to go along with a lot of discomfort. Interviews, (with fake news?), the critics, the competition.

The man or woman on the workfloor has to drag his or herself to work, making deadlines, making products that should've been produced yesterday. A company has to sell in order to stay in bussines. Another struggle are relationships. Somehow, someway it's hard to be your own in the midst of a relation. The root cause is expectancy. He wants something from her, she wants something from him and in the middle wishes are never met or not often enough. Why? Because wishes are seldom expressed. We expect to get what we wish, as if it's a given that man and women fulfill one anothers wishes. But it will never happen if wishes go deeper than a present, a holliday or a nice home. A child may well be the only wish granted. But on a deeper level ... no. I never told my mum to protect me, because my father was verbally aggressive six time a week, with a roaring voice, telling me that i was less worth than trash. I never told my mum, because she was also a victim of my fathers rage, she was also suffering. So, what could i expect? 

One other kind of suffering i would like to mention are diseases and conditions. Diseases like cancer, ALS and diabetic. Conditions such as Autism, epileptic and OCD. Without a doubt struggles if you have it. But no-one has it. They don't exist. Alzheimers, being blind, cerebral palsy, Parkinson's disease, Crohn's disease and even stuttering came forth from our imagination. It came forth out of our longing for attention, our disire to be the centre of interest, out of our wish to be someone, to be alive, to exist.  

Every soul suffers. We suffer due to that feeling. The feeling makes us feel alive, makes us feel that we exist. Because it's a feeling. There's no enemy lurking in the bushes. There are no bears behind every tree. I used to think that. I used to think that every man could point a weapon at me. There was no reason, i just believed it. I observed the world around me, closely, but nobody was doing evil things to me. Some people did, like my father and some other people, like a young man at work. He was eighteen, strong like an ox as if he been to the gym for years. He did some work during the hollidays and had fun tossing me in waist containers, about the size of a bathtub, though differently shaped and on wheels. He did that multiple times a day. He could. i am 5'6 (1m73) and skinny. The problem was he did it only to me. Not to my collegues. I can stand a joke, fooling around with others, but it gets annoying if you're the only victim of pranks. Anyway, those are expierences that caused me to think that it could happen anytime at any given moment. I was alert, warned in advance if you will. The warning was correct at moments, but i never saw it coming, no matter how observant and alert i thought i was. 

That is what keeps us struggling. Expectations, illusions, lies and the constant believe that life is an endless competition. Beating an applier for a job. Being better, more qualified, more educated. Competing guys for a girls (and girls for a guy). In priciple we're in an everlasting battle about everything. A place in the family, a place amongst collegues, a place in you're relationship, a place in this brutal world. Fearing the next man or woman. Loving the next man or woman, because you need it. Fearing that one day we can't make ends meet. Fearing death. Just because we want to feel alive. 

Every time we feel rejected, humiliated or betrayed, our body cringes. Like when you eat something sour and you feel you're mouth cringing, as if you wanna spit it out. Once the rejection or humiliation has passed, you're body seems to relax. Until it happens once more. A rejection, a betrayal, you're body cringes. As long as you don't know the mechanics of being rejected or humiliated, every time you're getting betrayed or rejected again, you're body cringes and over time it gets creased. Due to the fact that rejections and humiliations keeps happening the cringing will continue to happen just the same, keeping you're body creased. But you're body can only work properly if all fibers are slick and smooth. It makes blood flow with ease, But with all fibers creased blood can't flow as it has to. Is that a problem? Yes, it is. 

One of the main reasons your body contains blood is to grease up all fibers, weather they are organs or muscles. It's important they stay lubricated, for it's the only way to keep fibers flexible and agile. You don't wanna contract a muscle and feel how it tears to shreds. Blood flows with a certain pressure, enduced by your heart. But when all fibers are creased, less slick and smooth, blood has the tendency to get caught in a cringe, getting stuck. The next time blood passes more gets stuck, and that happens in every nook and cranny of your body. Passages were blood needs to flow are getting blocked, bud blood has to flow, it can't be stopped. 

To overcome blocks your brain sends a signal to the heart to beat louder, like the big drum in a marching band. Blood pressure wil increase, opening up vessels and all fibers, so blood can pass. Since birth your body contains air. It's all around every organ, around muscles, vessels, everywhere. When vessels and all fibers receive more blood due to the blood pressure, vessels and vibers increase in volume, in size. Not by much, but enough to press air tighter together, increasing air pressure. 

That leads to the following situation, at some point. Lets take a blood vessel to explain the situation. Blood pressure inside a blood vessel, air pressure outside the vessel and the vessel wall jammed in between. The vibers that make up the vessel wall are not made to endure the pressurazation conducted by blood and air. It changes to paste, liquify to a yoghurt like viscosity, to milk and at the end the vibers are back to what they once used to be: water. Blood- and air pressure creates warmth. Enough to make water vaporize, leaving nothing but a hole in the blood vessel wall. The hole cannot be repaired. Blood- and air pressure will destroy new carbon vibers immediatly after they are created. This process can happen everywhere in your body and when it starts to happen it is irreversible.   

The risk of losing vibers due to blood - and air pressure is high. It's a process that starts at a young age, needs to progress within the course of decades, before it gets serious and deadly. How many people died due to losing vibers? 

I don't have figures, but perhaps this will give you an idea. Every deceased person, diagnosed with cardiac arrest, heart attack, myocardial infarction, a stroke or cerebral infarction has died due to the loss of vibers on multiple locations. But what's upsettingly unreal is the realisation that all cancer patients who lost their battle, lost it to losing vibers, vibers that solved into thin air.