The origin of everything 


Homo Sapien                                                                                                                                                                                                              


Twenty million years ago every form of life as we know it today began their own journey. At that time life was mainly surviving. Surviving is what life drives. In every corner of this planet, in every corner of the universe, surviving is the main energy. Even giving up a life is surviving. Humans do not differ. Because we are an animal. We do not differ from a monkey, a rhino or a snake. We are just a different form of life, but we behave as any other creature. Twenty million years ago we fought wildlife and the weather conditions. Seaking shelter in a cave when rain, hail, thunder and lighting were a threat. Fleeing when an animal bigger than us wanted us for dinner. In our strive to survive humans used three strategies: Freezing like a deer in the headlights. If i don't move they can't see me. Why? Because in those days every form of life had a black and white vision. Just like the silent movies with Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton. When you observe the world in black and white and shades of grey, your vision lacks depth. Shades of grey has the tendency to blend. Light grey over light grey is hardly visible, even if the tones might differ to some level. That is one of the reasons why we still sleep at night. Darkness doesn't reveal grey in any shade, and besides, you can only catch a prey when you see it. That lead us to the conclusion that if we can't see prey in the dark, than it is almost a certain that wildlife can't see us either, wich meant that nighttime was most save to sleep. Fighting if the chance that you could win was more than certain and fleeing if it the odds were against you. Reproduction was, and basically is, a form of surviving. As long as you produce new generations the existence of your specie, weather you're a human or snail or a flower will be guaranteed. It's just a matter getting old enough, read: survive, to breed, and to help the young getting mature enough to breed on their own. Passing on what you were thought, what you learned and be asured that there will be generations to come, when your time has come.    




A human perceives the world around him with all of his senses. Eyes, ears, smell, taste and feelings. He feels with his skin and his body. Except his head and neck. The nerval system runs all through the body, in your shoulders, your breast, your hips, knees and even in your little toe, every second of the day. That's a lot of data to process. It's the key reason why we are out of balance, afraid and in pain. In the days of the cavemen and the apemen scanning the world around him was all a human did. All of his senses were used. To scan a possible threat before it could do harm. Do you laugh when a dog is afraid of a sketchy looking bag? When humans were still cavemen and they would've found a sketchy looking bag, they would've been scared for it too. Because they were animals, just like your dog is. But why are we afraid? Humans are afraid of what he doesn't know or doesn't understand. Guess what? If a human scans the world around him, to protect himself, it will cause a massive amound of incoming data, and most of it remains unknown or not understood. Of course, what his eyes see is clear, it is what it is and nothing else. But if a human doesn't know what it is, it will scare him. Until proven otherwise. Just like a dog with a sketchy bag. Closing in with caution, snooping and observing, and if it has no teeth or sharp claws it's save. Than a dog will piss on it to move on. Nowadays we encounter a new form of threat that scares us; emotions. How to cope with that if you only have three stategies? Freezing doesn't help much, fleeing won't do a thing and how to fight what lives inside you? That's the ground problem of all problems. Feelings are still a blur for humans, it remains unknown and thus not understood. But it can be done.       




Humans are animals, just like any other mamal. Our ground being is that of an animal. Our ground being is nature, no more than any life form on this beautiful planet. Like ants, like bees, like rhinos and turtles. We do what we do as nature tells us. We keep save, we keep alive and we make sure that we produce generation after generation. We make sure that our specie lives on, like any other creature, even though our life has ended and we are long gone to be a part of it. As an animal we are like working ants, like working bees. We don't think why, we just do. We provide a life, we cook, we clean and we do what is necessary to live, to be comfortable and to be save. But most of all we do what we are learned to do.    Basically we learn from life. From our parents, our siblings and our friends. That means that we copy behavior. We tend to love what others love, wich can be football, music, art, but also hanging out with friends and consume alcohol. That is okay, but it gives means to work in a herd, and it is that what animals do. Living in herds. Mostly with a leader, wich is usually the one who knows his way with words. Not like a drill instructor, per say, it can be a humorist just the same. Michael Jackson, the king of pop, was a leader in his own way. He gaves us hope and courage to search for a better life. He made us dream. Leaders have many faces. Political leaders, religious leaders, leaders that have what it takes to worship, like movie stars, sport stars, even your mom or dad can be leaders and have been when you were young. Being a leader you have to obey to basic rules, besides being the strongest: man over woman and old over young. So, if you're a shy girl it won't be likely that you're gonna make the cut. But if you're a woman and happen to be the oldest of the herd, you will be the leader. Because, old age is to respected. Always.  




Humans have the same learning ability as any other animal. Dogs can be thaught to fetch a ball. So can humans. We learn to throw a ball and to catch it when it's thrown back. We learn by doing and by observing what we do, what works and does not work. It is what we're good at, because hunting for prey was a learning process for caveman that followed the same principal. You try and if it doesn't work you try something differend or improve what worked in principal, but not efficient or fast enough. That's how humans have invented cars, planes, laptops, plastic, glass, making wine, dams and many more. But the ability is an out going energy. It works with our ability to detect what is. That's why others seem to know how to solve your problems, what is wrong with you. They detect what is sensitive to you, but not for them. The solution they hand you may be right, it may be wrong, but it is the outcome of detecting what is. How else is it to detect your own imperfections? It is detecting what is, but the energy has to go in the opposite direction. And that is not what we're good at. In fact we have never learned to do that. As explained, our ground being in live is surviving and we only use our abilities to achieve that. Detecting away from us, because that's were danger lurks, that's were our next meal is running through the woods, and is all we need to know. Surviving is not served knowing that one is shy, that one is jealous, scared or simply an a'hole, let alone why one is sad or angry. You need to eat, to find shelter and if you have to be an a'hole to achieve those goals, so be it. 



The ego is the thinking and behavior of our animalistic essence. It is what keeps us save and healthy. It is what drives us in competition. It is what makes us think, the jitterbox inside our head, pondering over problems until it drives you mad. It is what makes you go to the gym. It is what tells you to stop doing push ups, what means that if you (ego) wants to do five more repetitions, the ego is fighting itself. It is what gives you a hard time to look honest and modest to yourself. It is what cannot accept that you are not flawless and imperfect. But why? Because not being flawless or imperfect is not an option if you need to catch prey for dinner. It is not an option if you wanna be a worthy member of your herd. You don't want to be cast out. It is dangerous out there, wildlife is lurking, you might not survive on your own. It hasn't changed. No one wants to lose their job or wants to lose a fight. Flaws, however, became more noticeable. A stutter, a bald head, cerebral palsy .. cancer. It shows in a profound way that one has an imperfection. That is why we cannot face our imperfections, our mishaps. That is why we deny them. That is why we cannot cope with emotions. Sadness, anger, rejection, humiliation, betrayal, it all feels bad, uncomfortable. like an imperfection. We want to flee them, into a made up reality like being divine or a higher being or self with other given values, or we ignore them, making us ignorant. We blame everything that saves us from having to be responsible for our own being. Other people, the subcounciouss mind, the mind, the nervus vagus - the tenth nerve in the brain - the reptilian mind and more. But if we really wanna get a grip on our emotions, our fears and our ego, facing what is living inside us. Honest, caring and loving - yourself, not others - is the only way.   




Now that we know that a human is solely scanning for danger or a possible threat and what his strategies are to fight of eliminate it, we can also understand that one can fight what is physical in front of us a lot more easy than what is not visual. Like emotions, The very thing that is living inside of us. Our warning system. Now you may understand what it does to a human when his body is warning him for something that is not out there. It is not a ferocious animal. It is not a heavy rainstorm. It is batrayal or rejection. Or humiliation. It is warning the human. But to do what? Does he have to hide or to seek shelter? Does he have to run? Does he need to freeze? Sometimes one would wish that life came wit a manual. How we came to deal with the warning signs of our body can be seen in every day life. We yell at the person who betrayed us. If that doesn't free us from the pain, we get violent. All the way to homocide. And even suicide. We fight it with heavy drinking. With drugs. With casual sex. We try to deny it, prentend it is not there. But there is one feeling that controls all. It is not even a warning signal. The red flag has already been woven before that one emotion kicks in, and it doesn't take long. It tells us that things could go wrong bad. It tells us that if we don't take action now, it might me to late. It is that one sensation that influences every choice and every decision. Fear. It can make us causious, but it can make us also brave. As if we found a way to fight the danger inside us. But what do we really fear when we conquered our fear of heights? Is fearing bacteria the danger we feel inside? I'll leave that answer up to you. But note that fear has many faces. You might be surprised if you knew what behavior can be born out of fear. It has an effect on us like nothing else can, and respresents a danger that is way more threatning to us than a white shark with sharp and shiny white teeth at one end.   




Humans cannot feel. Come again? Humans cannot feel. We do have the ability, but we don't know how the mechanism works. We never learned how to use it. We don't know which part of the body we have to use. We have no idea what possibilities it posseses. We tend to believe that pain and fear are concepts. Like an app on your computer. We tend to believe that emotions are generated in the brain. We tend to believe that our thoughts are creating feelings. Feeling happens with the body. Everything below your neck has the wiring, the nerval system to feel. Your head and neck are not wired. Why? Because feelings are a load of data that is send up to the brain to process. The brain also recieves what your eyes and ears see and hear. What you nose and tonge smell and taste. That data needs processing. It needs to be understood by you. To do that you need a processor that stands apart. That can take in that vast amount of data without being a part of it. As explained in chapters above we use feelings to scan the world around us. To be aware of threat and danger before it can harm us. But feelings are so much more. Of course pain hurts, fear hurts in a differend way and emotions are complicated. But what if you could feel the energy around you? If you could feel what it has to say? Feeling are wonderful. You can feel yourself in a profound way. You can feel the energy around you and so much more. You don't believe me? You don't believe that feeling happens with the body? But you feel hunger in your stomach, don't you? You feel the craving of love making in your .. you know what, is it not? Aren't those sensations in your body? Why would it be differend when it comes to feelings and emotions? Why is it that emotions must be in the brain? Yes, it can help you understand it. Because it has no part in it. Because the mayhem is somewhere els in the body. Is judging the nature and the direction of a hurricane not easier when you can observe it from a distance than when your standing in the middle of all the chaos? That is why all our thoughts is driving us nuts. That is why the jitterbug in our heads won't shut up. Because we tend to believe that pain and fear are in our heads. Because the hurricane is raging in our heads. We don't allow ourselfs to keep distance. We never did learn how to keep thoughts and feelings seperate. Because humans cannot feel.  




Feeling has another side to it. It's what you sense and respond to even though you don't know what it is. It's that feeling that creeps up on you and lets you react as if it's certain what it is even though you can't explain why it is that certain. What's aware to you at those moments is what is aware to you when you feel rejected, betrayed or when you feel jealous. Your reaction to it is instinctive. It's the animal, the mamal, the primate that you are that is reacting. It's what's making your dog stands still in a sudden when he senses something and prepares himself to take action if it's getting to close or to dangerous. Because a dog is an animal, an mamal, a primate. Just like you. Instinctive feeling is the same mechanism as feeling emotions, pain, fear. It's what your body senses like a satellite disc. Because it is wired with nerves. As explained above man uses his instincts to sense threat or danger. Rejection, humiliation, betrayal, jealousy, frustration, hate, grudge and fear is what we sense in the same way as we sense danger or threat. That's why it is the same to us. That's how we deal with it. We wanna fight it, run from it or we freeze, hoping that it'll leave us alone and unharmed. Today our instincts, intuition or feminin intuition are no longer a warning mechanisms. Because it's useless to scan the world around you for threat and danger that lives inside you. It makes you search for answers and solutions outside yourself. You're looking for reasons why you expect to find it. Outside yourself. Away from yourself. That's the mechanism of an animal, a mamal, a primate. It's not because we don't know. We have a conceptual understanding of pain and fear, of rejection and hate, but what we don't know is how to find it in ourselfs. How to deal with it once we've found it. Or better: how to nurture ourselfs when pain and fear are present.